It's Scratch N' Sniff!!! YUM!!!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Howdy Broads and Ghouls! Been awhile since our gigantor list of October Horror Film Favorites! There's been a lot going on in the land of monsters since the
last time we've connected! For now though, I'll relay to you the most
recent and the most gruesome of events! I had a tooth go south on me
last month. I called my wonderfully evil dentist to have it pulled and
it took me four weeks to get to my appointment! That's a month of
sitting around, howling into the night while gangrenous gasses build up
in my wretched gums. It was unpleasant... highly. Well, last Thurs was
the day of reckoning for the wayward molar and it was plucked from my
mouth like a thorn from a lion's paw. These last few days have been
wonderful, since I can actually function to almost full Monstrous
capacity. Plus, I've healed up with no sign of dry socket. Let the old
whores in the nursing home keep that term to for themselves! Haha. Oh,
of course my dentist let me keep that little death bomb he pulled out of
my head and I took some horribly juicy pictures just to share with all
of my fiends online. Enjoy!
It's Scratch N' Sniff!!! YUM!!!
It's Scratch N' Sniff!!! YUM!!!
Monday, October 31, 2011
Our Top Two Halloween Picks!!! We Have 70's Bush Tortured Onstage And More Chopped Up Zombies Than You Can Shake A Lawnmower At!!!
Happy Halloween!!! Today is the day, so here's our last two movies of the countdown!!!first up is...
61-Bloodsucking Freaks / aka-The Incredible Torture Show (1976)
This is a nasty little piece of work. I saved it for today mainly based on the massive amount of creepiness, gory viciousness, nudity, comedy, and the ability to make you feel dirty inside!!! There just something about it that is unlike any other movie around. The story is about a theater director who performs sadistic acts on naked women for audience entertainment. The people watching the shows think that all the torture and onstage deaths are just special effects. In reality the women are being murdered on stage. Pretty twisted plot. The only thing more fucked up than what's happening on stage is what's going on behind the curtain!!! This is a classic and is now being distributed by Troma. Don't miss this one!!!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077247/
61-Bloodsucking Freaks / aka-The Incredible Torture Show (1976)
This is a nasty little piece of work. I saved it for today mainly based on the massive amount of creepiness, gory viciousness, nudity, comedy, and the ability to make you feel dirty inside!!! There just something about it that is unlike any other movie around. The story is about a theater director who performs sadistic acts on naked women for audience entertainment. The people watching the shows think that all the torture and onstage deaths are just special effects. In reality the women are being murdered on stage. Pretty twisted plot. The only thing more fucked up than what's happening on stage is what's going on behind the curtain!!! This is a classic and is now being distributed by Troma. Don't miss this one!!!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077247/
Next film is the #1 pick from me for a reason. It's...
62-Braindead / Dead Alive (1992)
This is one of my favorite zombie comedies EVER!!! Not only is it very funny, but it also holds the reputation (at least at one time) as being the bloodiest movie ever made!!! This one is directed by Peter Jackson. Yes, "Lord of the Rings" Peter Jackson. I don't know what he's up to now, but early in his career he made some of the best Horror movies around! Anyways, this film is about a young man named Lionel. He's a hopeless mama's boy, whose life is turned upside down when his budding love life is threatened by his "loving mother" who becomes gravely ill after being bitten by a rare monkey. Long story short, the infection spreads to other people and all hell breaks loose leading up to one of the most famous scenes in zombie film history. I'll give you a hint... It involves a lawnmower and a house full of zombified party goers!!! Who in the hell doesn't want to see that!!! You know you do! Go watch it!!!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103873/
62-Braindead / Dead Alive (1992)
This is one of my favorite zombie comedies EVER!!! Not only is it very funny, but it also holds the reputation (at least at one time) as being the bloodiest movie ever made!!! This one is directed by Peter Jackson. Yes, "Lord of the Rings" Peter Jackson. I don't know what he's up to now, but early in his career he made some of the best Horror movies around! Anyways, this film is about a young man named Lionel. He's a hopeless mama's boy, whose life is turned upside down when his budding love life is threatened by his "loving mother" who becomes gravely ill after being bitten by a rare monkey. Long story short, the infection spreads to other people and all hell breaks loose leading up to one of the most famous scenes in zombie film history. I'll give you a hint... It involves a lawnmower and a house full of zombified party goers!!! Who in the hell doesn't want to see that!!! You know you do! Go watch it!!!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103873/
Alrighty folks! This concludes our Halloween Countdown. I hope you guys had as much fun as I did. At the very least I hope this might have turned you onto a few films you might not have seen before!!! Even though our countdown is complete, make sure to check back here for more film reviews and other fun Horror posts and news!I hope everyone has a safe night out there. Thank you all for reading!!! Happy Halloween!!!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
We Have Devil's Night Uber-Violence Tonight!!! Nipples Are Getting Cut Off And Ghosts Will Rise From The Grave For Vengance!!!
Happy Devil's Night everyone!!! Let's get started! First movie up is...
59-Ichi The Killer (2001)
As far as I'm concerned this film by Takashi Miike is one of the best Asian Horror films since "Tetsuo: The Iron Man". The story is of uber-sadist Yakuza Kakihara who is in search of his missing Boss. In his rampage across the underworld he find Ichi, a psycho killer of epic proportions. What follows is an orgy of gore, mutilation, and psycho sexual behavior. It's really one of the most violent films out there and if you're a fan of over the top Asian-style carnage (and really, who isn't?) then this one is right up your alley!!!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0296042/
59-Ichi The Killer (2001)
As far as I'm concerned this film by Takashi Miike is one of the best Asian Horror films since "Tetsuo: The Iron Man". The story is of uber-sadist Yakuza Kakihara who is in search of his missing Boss. In his rampage across the underworld he find Ichi, a psycho killer of epic proportions. What follows is an orgy of gore, mutilation, and psycho sexual behavior. It's really one of the most violent films out there and if you're a fan of over the top Asian-style carnage (and really, who isn't?) then this one is right up your alley!!!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0296042/
When I'm thinking Devil's night, only one movie comes to mind and it's...
60-The Crow (1994)
This Gothic masterpiece is about a murdered musician who is mysteriously brought back to life to avenge his and his fiancee's murder on the eve of Halloween. It's a fucking great movie and holds a special place in the hearts of many people. The cast is wonderful and their performances are very strong. Especially Brandon Lee, who was tragically fatally wounded on set during filming by a firearm prop mishap. The Crow is a great revenge story and a very gritty, dark, violent, and romantic film. If you've never seen it (and I know a few young folk who haven't) it's an entertaining and iconic movie that deserves at least one viewing. I have a feeling though, that this will be one you will want to watch more than once!!!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109506/
60-The Crow (1994)
This Gothic masterpiece is about a murdered musician who is mysteriously brought back to life to avenge his and his fiancee's murder on the eve of Halloween. It's a fucking great movie and holds a special place in the hearts of many people. The cast is wonderful and their performances are very strong. Especially Brandon Lee, who was tragically fatally wounded on set during filming by a firearm prop mishap. The Crow is a great revenge story and a very gritty, dark, violent, and romantic film. If you've never seen it (and I know a few young folk who haven't) it's an entertaining and iconic movie that deserves at least one viewing. I have a feeling though, that this will be one you will want to watch more than once!!!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109506/
There's your Devil's Night picks from me to you!!! Go watch these movies!!! Don't forget to come back tomorrow for the top Halloween picks of our list!!! The big day is almost here!!! Hell Yeah!!! Thanks for reading everyone! See you tomorrow!!!
Saturday, October 29, 2011
MadMadamJess Night!!! Firemen Fall From The Sky!!! Young Woman Skinned Alive!!! What A Waste!!!
Tonight is dedicated to our great friend, comrade in Horror, and Godmother to our daughter... MadMadamJess!!! She's the one responsible for showing me these two kick ass films. She's got pretty damn good taste in movies. Anyways, these two are fucking awesome and should be seen by all! We have some partying to do tonight, so this will be just trailers and clips this evening. You can always follow the IMDB link to get more information of the movie and I suggest that you do!!! Here's the flicks of the evening...
57-[REC] (2007)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1038988/
57-[REC] (2007)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1038988/
Seriously, I can't stress enough that these two bad mofos are worth watching. Hope everyone has a fun and safe night tonight. I'll try to do the same. Thanks for reading everyone!!!
Friday, October 28, 2011
I Spit On Your Severed Dick!!! Also, The Film That Could Have Been "Headcheese", It Still Would Have Had The Chainsaw!!!
Hey everyone! Remember several posts back (Oct.11th), when I mentioned that there would be another movie that I would be giving another "remake" credit along side the original? Well, that day is today and the movie is...
55-I Spit On Your Grave/aka-Day Of The Woman (1978) & (2010)
As far as I am concerned these films are some of the best revenge movies around. The story is that of a New York writer who rents a cabin in the country to finish a novel. Some local boys take a liking to her, so they decide to repeatedly gang rape her and leave her for dead. Funny thing about that, since she survives and systematically gets revenge on each one of the perpetrators in increasingly gruesome ways!!! No lie, the rape scenes are difficult to watch and they are not quickly over. Of course, by the time she gets to her revenge, you really feel for the character and wish you could help her take the scumbags out!!! The 1978 original has much more brutal repeated rapes than the 2010 version, but the newer one has much more vicious and creative revenge killings! That's the main reason why I decided to include the remake. It's actually really well done and is definitely in the spirit of the original, even if it is a bit more over the top than it's 1978 predecessor. Either way, watch em' both and judge for yourself!!! Not for the faint of heart, but highly recommended.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077713/ (1978) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1242432/ (2010)
55-I Spit On Your Grave/aka-Day Of The Woman (1978) & (2010)
As far as I am concerned these films are some of the best revenge movies around. The story is that of a New York writer who rents a cabin in the country to finish a novel. Some local boys take a liking to her, so they decide to repeatedly gang rape her and leave her for dead. Funny thing about that, since she survives and systematically gets revenge on each one of the perpetrators in increasingly gruesome ways!!! No lie, the rape scenes are difficult to watch and they are not quickly over. Of course, by the time she gets to her revenge, you really feel for the character and wish you could help her take the scumbags out!!! The 1978 original has much more brutal repeated rapes than the 2010 version, but the newer one has much more vicious and creative revenge killings! That's the main reason why I decided to include the remake. It's actually really well done and is definitely in the spirit of the original, even if it is a bit more over the top than it's 1978 predecessor. Either way, watch em' both and judge for yourself!!! Not for the faint of heart, but highly recommended.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077713/ (1978) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1242432/ (2010)
1978 trailer
2010 trailer
Next up is a big 'un!!! It's...
56-The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
Hands down one of the best Horror films ever!!! Directed by Tobe Hooper, it's the story of several friends on a road trip in Texas to check on one of the group members family plot. During their trip they run into trouble. Mainly, a deranged family of cannibals, including the beloved Leatherface!!! (played by Gunnar Hansen) Anyways, this fucking movie is creepy, darkly funny, and just an all around great story. I rarely say shit like this, because I think it's stupid,but in this case... YOU ARE NOT A HORROR FAN IF YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS!!!! So, if you haven't seen The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, then you'd better get on that!!!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072271/
56-The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
Hands down one of the best Horror films ever!!! Directed by Tobe Hooper, it's the story of several friends on a road trip in Texas to check on one of the group members family plot. During their trip they run into trouble. Mainly, a deranged family of cannibals, including the beloved Leatherface!!! (played by Gunnar Hansen) Anyways, this fucking movie is creepy, darkly funny, and just an all around great story. I rarely say shit like this, because I think it's stupid,but in this case... YOU ARE NOT A HORROR FAN IF YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS!!!! So, if you haven't seen The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, then you'd better get on that!!!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072271/
Alright! Two (three actually) more great ones to help you scream in your dreams!!! We're getting down to the last couple days!!! Just think about what's waiting for you tomorrow!!! Thanks for reading everyone.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
What's Inside A Girl? Apparently, Slimy Meat!!! Also, Warning Shots Are Bullshit!!!
Just trailers and clips tonight!!! You don't have to listen to my shit this evening! Hahaha!!!
53-Hellbound:Hellraiser II (1988)
Watch This Movie! Blahh Blahh Blahh!!! It's Pinhead. Enough said.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095294/
53-Hellbound:Hellraiser II (1988)
Watch This Movie! Blahh Blahh Blahh!!! It's Pinhead. Enough said.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095294/
Next movie...
54-Phantasm (1979)
This classic should be in everyone's collection. The Tall Man and flying metal spheres that drain your blood. Enough said.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079714/
54-Phantasm (1979)
This classic should be in everyone's collection. The Tall Man and flying metal spheres that drain your blood. Enough said.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079714/
These two really don't need much introduction. They're both kick ass films and worth your time. Hope you enjoy them!!! Thanks for checking it out!!!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Culturally Significant Exploding Boobs!!! Also, You've Got Red On You!!! Hope It's Someone Else's Blood!!!
Remember when I said the laughs were over? Well, I lied!!! Hahahaha! Two funny ones up for tonight. Starting with...
51-Terror Firmer (1999)
Like a true Troma fan, I showed this movie to my Wife on the first night we hung out. Obviously, I didn't know she would become my wife at the time, but I used to use this movie as a barometer of compatibility with people around me. If they could handle the craziness and disgusting humor of this film, then we would probably get along just fine. Anyways, this is a really wacky film from Lloyd Kaufman, the eccentric leader of Troma Entertainment. The story surrounds an independent film crew with a serial killer in their midst. Oh man, it's like a visual circus. There are so many things going on in the background during some of the scenes, it makes the movie a visual frenzy!!! It kind of reminds me of what a poor man's "Natural Born Killers" would look like. I must have seen this film over 100 times and to this day I still see something new every time I watch it. This movie is chock full of entertaining, colorful, and notorious cast members like Trent Haaga, Debbie Rochon, Will Keenan, Theo Kogan (Lunachicks), Lemmy, Ron Jeremy, and even an appearance by Eli Roth. With lots of blood, exploding heads, blind independent film directors pissing on a copulating couple, fat guy escalator insertion, tons of boobs (and some explode), lesbians, vomiting car crashes, tractor trailer amputations, orgasms curing the blind, and hermaphrodite rape, this is not a film for the easily offended... but it's funny as hell when you make them watch it!!!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0169299/
51-Terror Firmer (1999)
Like a true Troma fan, I showed this movie to my Wife on the first night we hung out. Obviously, I didn't know she would become my wife at the time, but I used to use this movie as a barometer of compatibility with people around me. If they could handle the craziness and disgusting humor of this film, then we would probably get along just fine. Anyways, this is a really wacky film from Lloyd Kaufman, the eccentric leader of Troma Entertainment. The story surrounds an independent film crew with a serial killer in their midst. Oh man, it's like a visual circus. There are so many things going on in the background during some of the scenes, it makes the movie a visual frenzy!!! It kind of reminds me of what a poor man's "Natural Born Killers" would look like. I must have seen this film over 100 times and to this day I still see something new every time I watch it. This movie is chock full of entertaining, colorful, and notorious cast members like Trent Haaga, Debbie Rochon, Will Keenan, Theo Kogan (Lunachicks), Lemmy, Ron Jeremy, and even an appearance by Eli Roth. With lots of blood, exploding heads, blind independent film directors pissing on a copulating couple, fat guy escalator insertion, tons of boobs (and some explode), lesbians, vomiting car crashes, tractor trailer amputations, orgasms curing the blind, and hermaphrodite rape, this is not a film for the easily offended... but it's funny as hell when you make them watch it!!!
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0169299/
Next up is the best Romantic comedy ever made! It's...
52-Shaun Of The Dead (2004)
Have you ever tried to win back an Ex's love? Now, have tried to do it during a full blown zombie outbreak? Well, that's what happens in to Shaun and his best friend Ed (exquisitely played by comedic whips Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, respectively), in this movie directed by Edgar Wright. As far as I am concerned, this is one of the best zombie movies to come out in years!!! Even though zombies are not the real focus of the story. I love the way the zombies look in this film. They have a kind of funny personality to them that I feel sets them apart from their undead peers in other flicks. The filmmakers have also thrown in a lot of subtle-ish homages to several other Horror films. I like that (within reason). I know it's cheesy, but when it's not done in a totally crammed down your throat kind of way, I think it's fun. When you watch this (and you'd better!!!), try to pick it up on DVD so you can listen to the director and cast commentary. It's actually pretty fucking funny! I highly recommend this one for any fan of Horror, Comedy, Romantic Comedies, or Zombie films.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0365748/
52-Shaun Of The Dead (2004)
Have you ever tried to win back an Ex's love? Now, have tried to do it during a full blown zombie outbreak? Well, that's what happens in to Shaun and his best friend Ed (exquisitely played by comedic whips Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, respectively), in this movie directed by Edgar Wright. As far as I am concerned, this is one of the best zombie movies to come out in years!!! Even though zombies are not the real focus of the story. I love the way the zombies look in this film. They have a kind of funny personality to them that I feel sets them apart from their undead peers in other flicks. The filmmakers have also thrown in a lot of subtle-ish homages to several other Horror films. I like that (within reason). I know it's cheesy, but when it's not done in a totally crammed down your throat kind of way, I think it's fun. When you watch this (and you'd better!!!), try to pick it up on DVD so you can listen to the director and cast commentary. It's actually pretty fucking funny! I highly recommend this one for any fan of Horror, Comedy, Romantic Comedies, or Zombie films.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0365748/
Looking at my list, this really is going to be the last two "funny guys" of the countdown. For real this time. not for fake. Of course if your like me, and laugh your ass off when most people are cringing, then there are probably a few humorous moments to come. So please, grab a friend and come back to check out what we have for you tomorrow!!! Thanks for reading guys!!!
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