My ridiculous thought of today!
I hope that when you die, there is some kind of life stats presented to you. Something akin to the stats screen for Grand Theft Auto. Along with the info about how many breaths I took or how many sunsets I watched, i am genuinely interested in knowing the really important stuff. Like how many times I said "fuck". how many tons of shit, i mean literal feces, did I drop while walking this rock? How many people saw you picking your nose in traffic? How many chicks jerked off thinking about you? how many dudes? Haha. How many hours did I spend watching movies? What about a kill count? How many flies, scorpions, roaches, rodents, deer, and other assorted animals, bugs, and vermin (people?) did I take out? These are just the kind of things you need to know! I mean, holy shit, there are a million more questions in this same vein. unfortunately, they would be near impossible to calculate unless you started from the beginning! What do you think? What would you want to know?
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Week before October goodies!
Well the main list will drop on OCT 1st, and I already have some friends wanting to see what's on it. Well, you're just going to have to wait till the 1st! I did, however, make a list of what I would consider appetizers. These aren't all in the category of Horror, but I think they are a good warm up to get you in the October spirit. So here's a few for the impatient bastards out there...
Sept 24th- Repossessed
Total slapstick spoof of the Exorcist. sight gags out the ass and boobs in the first ten mins. If you're a fan of Leslie Neilsen's type of comedy, then you will probably love this one. The fun part is that Linda Blair who played the little possessed girl, Regan, in the original Exorcist is in this film (all grown up) and does a hilarious job of poking fun at the role she made famous.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100475/
Sept 25th-Serial Mom
Kathleen Turner on a rampage in this badass flick by John Waters. Lots of dirty jokes, some really nasty prank calling, and funny, yet gruesome deaths all done in Waters' quirky Baltimore style . The cast is made up of quite a few of Waters regulars. Mink Stole, Ricki Lake, Traci Lords, and Patty hearst. The band L7 also makes a memorable appearance. This one I highly recommend to add to your collection.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111127/
Sept 26th-Once Bitten
Really silly early Jim Carrey. The best part though is all the ridiculous 80's shit. It's hilarious. It's pretty much all about getting laid, with vampires in it. There is some in coffin humping in it, so that's fun. Overall, it's pretty light fair, but still good enough to warm you up to some other vampire flicks coming up.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089730/
Sept 27th-The Burbs
Tom Hanks and Bruce Dern VS. Henry Gibson and Brother Theodore. You add in Carrie Fisher, little Corey Feldman, and a big dose of RearWindow, and you have "the Burbs". I saw this one in theaters, it's 22 years old, and I still watch this damn movie! I think the main reason why, is because it holds up so well. My only problem is that Tom Hanks lost all of his "80's funny guy act" not long after this movie was made. Anyways, check it out. It's suburban paranoia at it's comedic best.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096734/
Sept 28th-Highway to Hell
This is a classic. Wacky premise, decent special effects for the time, a ton of cameos from comedians, AND demon boobs. What the hell else could you want. The story goes like this, A cop from Hell steals a guys bride to be (Kristi Swanson) and he has to drive a hot rod into Hell to get her back. Oh, Gilbert Gottfried also plays Hitler. Enough said.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104418/
Sept 29th-Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama
The title pretty much says it all! 80's hotties (including the "scream queen" herself, Linnea Quigley) unleash a pimpin' Imp that wreaks havoc on a bowling alley in this wonderfully bad film. It contains lots of funny gore and several full frontal scenes, which has made it a late night classic for years.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096142/
Sept 30th-Meet the Feebles
This is one of the most fucked up "puppet" movies you will ever see. There must be something seriously wrong with director Peter Jackson and god bless him for it! This film includes... A drug addicted frog with PTSD, a flamboyantly gay fox, a rabbit with STDs, a maniac hippo, a shit eating fly reporter, a cat blowing a walrus, songs about sodomy, a machine gun massacre, the darkside of the puppet porn industry, and so many more perverse storylines that it just has to be seen to be believed. One of the best out of this list. Also, one of the more hardcore of our pre-October offerings. I love this movie for it's originality and absolute craziness! If you have a twisted sense of humor, then it is a definite must see.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097858/
Ok, so there you have it! Even though I am posting this on the 25th, don't forget to throw Repossessed in there somewhere. Make it a double feature night or something. Hopefully these several movies will help strengthen your nerves and stomachs for the long and bloody road we have to travel next month. Oh, it's going to be hell, but in the best way. Haha.
Sept 24th- Repossessed
Total slapstick spoof of the Exorcist. sight gags out the ass and boobs in the first ten mins. If you're a fan of Leslie Neilsen's type of comedy, then you will probably love this one. The fun part is that Linda Blair who played the little possessed girl, Regan, in the original Exorcist is in this film (all grown up) and does a hilarious job of poking fun at the role she made famous.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0100475/
Sept 25th-Serial Mom
Kathleen Turner on a rampage in this badass flick by John Waters. Lots of dirty jokes, some really nasty prank calling, and funny, yet gruesome deaths all done in Waters' quirky Baltimore style . The cast is made up of quite a few of Waters regulars. Mink Stole, Ricki Lake, Traci Lords, and Patty hearst. The band L7 also makes a memorable appearance. This one I highly recommend to add to your collection.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111127/
Sept 26th-Once Bitten
Really silly early Jim Carrey. The best part though is all the ridiculous 80's shit. It's hilarious. It's pretty much all about getting laid, with vampires in it. There is some in coffin humping in it, so that's fun. Overall, it's pretty light fair, but still good enough to warm you up to some other vampire flicks coming up.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089730/
Sept 27th-The Burbs
Tom Hanks and Bruce Dern VS. Henry Gibson and Brother Theodore. You add in Carrie Fisher, little Corey Feldman, and a big dose of RearWindow, and you have "the Burbs". I saw this one in theaters, it's 22 years old, and I still watch this damn movie! I think the main reason why, is because it holds up so well. My only problem is that Tom Hanks lost all of his "80's funny guy act" not long after this movie was made. Anyways, check it out. It's suburban paranoia at it's comedic best.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096734/
Sept 28th-Highway to Hell
This is a classic. Wacky premise, decent special effects for the time, a ton of cameos from comedians, AND demon boobs. What the hell else could you want. The story goes like this, A cop from Hell steals a guys bride to be (Kristi Swanson) and he has to drive a hot rod into Hell to get her back. Oh, Gilbert Gottfried also plays Hitler. Enough said.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104418/
Sept 29th-Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama
The title pretty much says it all! 80's hotties (including the "scream queen" herself, Linnea Quigley) unleash a pimpin' Imp that wreaks havoc on a bowling alley in this wonderfully bad film. It contains lots of funny gore and several full frontal scenes, which has made it a late night classic for years.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096142/
Sept 30th-Meet the Feebles
This is one of the most fucked up "puppet" movies you will ever see. There must be something seriously wrong with director Peter Jackson and god bless him for it! This film includes... A drug addicted frog with PTSD, a flamboyantly gay fox, a rabbit with STDs, a maniac hippo, a shit eating fly reporter, a cat blowing a walrus, songs about sodomy, a machine gun massacre, the darkside of the puppet porn industry, and so many more perverse storylines that it just has to be seen to be believed. One of the best out of this list. Also, one of the more hardcore of our pre-October offerings. I love this movie for it's originality and absolute craziness! If you have a twisted sense of humor, then it is a definite must see.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097858/
Ok, so there you have it! Even though I am posting this on the 25th, don't forget to throw Repossessed in there somewhere. Make it a double feature night or something. Hopefully these several movies will help strengthen your nerves and stomachs for the long and bloody road we have to travel next month. Oh, it's going to be hell, but in the best way. Haha.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Welcome!!!
Hey everyone! My name is the MonsterMan and I am a professional Monster. This is my "blog". My 1st post to be exact. Let me warn you now... I'm not much of a writer. If I catch you in person I might talk your friggin' ears off, and putting words down on paper (digital or otherwise) has not always been my strong suit. As they say though, you have to start somewhere! Plus, the best month of the year is only days away, so I figured it was time to get my ass in gear.
I love all things Horror. That will be the main focus of this effort. To bring you the best and newest info on what is happening in the Horror world and my daily life as a sarcastic tattooed prick. Be it movies, conventions, real life mayhem, or dark humor. whatever the form, I will do my best to be an entertaining host. I will be making a series of videos soon to accompany the written posts. First order of business though is to make a list for you guys of my selection of a "movie a day" through October and of course leading up to Halloween! I am slaving my ass off over many a hot cigarette to get this sucker done ASAP! So just sit back, relax, snuggle up next to someone you love (or hate, if that's your thing) and the let the nightmares and residual hangovers wash over you.
I love all things Horror. That will be the main focus of this effort. To bring you the best and newest info on what is happening in the Horror world and my daily life as a sarcastic tattooed prick. Be it movies, conventions, real life mayhem, or dark humor. whatever the form, I will do my best to be an entertaining host. I will be making a series of videos soon to accompany the written posts. First order of business though is to make a list for you guys of my selection of a "movie a day" through October and of course leading up to Halloween! I am slaving my ass off over many a hot cigarette to get this sucker done ASAP! So just sit back, relax, snuggle up next to someone you love (or hate, if that's your thing) and the let the nightmares and residual hangovers wash over you.
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